A Letter For Jared M. Bruce

Dear Jared,

We had so much planned, so much more stuff to do, but now you’re gone. I know I’m not supposed to cry but I can’t hold these tears back.  Walking into the cafeteria and not seeing you was beyond hard for me. A lot of people have on black clothing for you but you know I had to dress like that up top girl for you one more time. I know you are up there smiling like “yea she wavy.” Trying to grasp the fact that you are no longer here with us, yea I can’t do it, but God will help me through. I’m glad you have a strong family, they are holding up well. Your little sister started crying last night and it broke my heart. I told your family I will be there to see them as the days go on, I just hope God allows me to get back there. It’s crazy how many close friends I have that passed, how many tears I’ve shedded over these past few years , you would think I was used to burying people and saying “Rest in peace” but I’m not.

Tomorrow is cap and gown pictures, I’m not really up for it, it hurts to know that you won’t be able to walk across that stage with me but at graduation I hope they have a special moment for you and the rest of our senior class that has passed. I just wish all those plans we made could have fell through. I’m running on like three hours of sleep, my eyes are all puffy and hair all messy but I’m swagged out all crazy for my slime.  Lord knows I’m already missing you, but I know you are with me every step of the way. Looking at our pictures has me over here so weak but I’m smiling at the same time, I know that sounds crazy. I know you are in a better place but you’re supposed to be HERE, at school, with us, we miss you Jared. All I have are pictures, memories, and conversations that we have held on face book and twitter to hold on to now, I guess that will have to do. I’m all cried out, you are up in heaven with the rest of my fallen soldiers, my friends and family that I have lost, I hope you all get to meet at the golden gates.

 “If I could get my miracle on I’ll bring my homie back in physical form”-Styles P said it best, these kids have no idea who that man is but shout out to him for that line because it explains exactly how I feel right now. I’m writing you this long letter wishing that you were still here, to read it but if you were here the topic would be different, I know you are in heaven listening to every word that is going through my head. I consider you my personal angel, who is walking right beside me and I am very thankful for you. I can’t grasp that fact that you’re gone, my skin is hot but I have chill bumps and I have an ill headache right now. Losing you is so unreal to me. I am just waiting for you to pop up at school with McDonalds, cracking jokes in the hallway and for you to hug me like always.  My heart, head and eyes are beyond heavy right now, I know you see me in here torn up and you are probably like “what you crying for, chill ma!” but it’s hard. Every time I stare out my eyesight gets blurry and I feel like everybody is staring at me, I hate this!

Going to the funeral was a closure to all of the things that has been happening all week. I feel like we will always remember you and all the moments we have shared together. The balloon release turned out beautiful and your family loved it, we even got shirts made with all of your pictures on it, I know you feel the love. Spring break is slowly approaching and we were supposed to be going to Brooklyn, NY, but I’m honestly not up for it, then we have prom and graduation, things that we were supposed to do together. These events are going to be the hardest for me to get through but I know I will. All I can do is smile when I think about you; there was never a dull moment with you around. I am very much honored to say I was a part of your life. You were my homie, you were dope, and cool, loved and everybody knew that you were funny. I love you and I know you love me back.

R.I.P Jared Michael ‘Jetz’ Bruce

11-5-1993/4-1-2012